i don't know.

i think that is my final conclusion on life (i know this might be jumping the gun). but i really don't know....how much i can handle. what i believe in. who i want to spend my life with. what i'm supposed to do tomorrow. how i can love those around me. if my feet are planted on the ground. i really just don't know.

this past year i've been holding out hope that i would eventually find some answers, to at least one of the questions. but alas as i'm growing and learning i'm started to discover more questions and a whole lot less answers. which i guess is normal, but doesn't mean its easy.

and now since i know that this grayness is never going to disappear i have taken the next step in being honest about the frustrations, joys, and struggles of it all. i think that all these "non"conclusions are not that shoking to most people in the world. but to me, at this time in my life they are overwhelming.