i would describe myself as a person who struggles with patience. yet as i look back at the last few years i think patience is actually an over-arching theme. subconsciously i knew 4 years ago, while living in the conservative mid-west that i could not handle giving myself the freedom to explore who i was. at that time in my life if i would have known what i know now, i would have been in a constant struggle with myself. i had to be patient. slowly, oh so slowly. the universe granted me opportunities to live in places that would give me time. time to try on new philosophises. and friendships that gave me room to ask questions (apart from the rules boxes from my youth). and then i could safely ask: WHO AM I? i let the question settle. for years. my new york family listened, gave me reassurance in my answers (or lack there of). clearly as i have been figuring this all out these last few years i have always known who i was, who i am. but timing has to be right. now i can accept. now i can celebrate. now i can laugh. how upsurd it is, i am the opposite of what i fought to be my whole childhood. yet with this separation of space and of time. i see that its beautiful. this situation/how the universe works. i may be years behind my counterparts in self discovery. but for me. its just right. growing up i was taught that God will give you only what you can handle. i may question who this God is now...but whoever she or he is, i still believe that she does only give me what i can handle. patience. patience. patience.

all good things will come in time.