today i am sentimental. (usually i try not to be...but i'm giving in on this monday). today is my year anniversary at my job. and i know it sounds kind of weird to celebrate a year anniversary at a job. but to a girl who has tends to thrive on change being here this year. staying here. and continuing on here well it brings up some emotions. feelings on pride. of joy. of adulthood. of youth. of idealism. of confusion. i guess there is a thin line between one emotion or another. that line has been balanced this year. falling to one side or another all the time, and loving it. the realism. there is no putting on a front, no trying on a mask or building up a wall to not let the emotions inside. this job has ripped of anything that let me play a part of togetherness-of understanding. and let me become raw. scary, really scary. and amazing. i have been given joy this year. my name shouted with love as my kids come in wanting to tell me about their day. their first kisses (my favorite story), their good report cards, their struggles. and oh how i love to listen. to laugh with them. to celebrate with them. i have been given pain this year. when a parent admits they can't do it anymore. when a child is worried they are going to lose their loved ones. when i have no answers to give. last year i walked in blind to this center. i was a child who had a lot of idealism in her heart and who wanted to change the world (at least just a pinch). i know that in so many ways i am still a child (i hope to never lose that). but so many days as i have walked home after work. i swear i could feel growth pains all over my body. many times in your life you all of a sudden realize that you have grown up. and then there are those days that you know it is happening. you feel it. you recognize it. today i can say i'm glad i have had an oppurtunity to grow. even through all the tears and a few sacrifices that were made, i'm happy. because this community center has offered me a place to fight for peace and to hand out love. a whole lot of it. and with that peace and love...i have not been the only one to change. but my kids have also been growing-and what a joyful process that has been to watch. and in the end my kids have given me sooooo much love. so much joy. and so much purpose. one year down. many to come.