i have it soooooo good. sooooooo good. soooooo good. i have tears in my eyes, sitting at my desk for the gratefulness the universe has offered me. i'm not sure if i have ever been so thankful. my smile is all over my face and is connected directly to my heart. oh my heart, it has been broken and repaired time and time again. i don't mind. i'm thankful. my mistakes. live and learn. i'm thankful. i have received so many hugs today. literally, for being a vessel of giving. i was given hundreds of dollars worth of food today through a program i applied for on behalf of the community center. families are carrying out boxes of cereal, canned food, and such. so many of them stopping by my office on the way out to say thanks. tell me they love me. one said that she respects me with all her heart and all her being. another said 'girl thanks for hooking us up. we haven't had someone like you in our lifes for a long time'. i'm soooo thankful. compliments are wonderful. but more then that i love being in a place that gives me the chance to be a small (very small) beacon of hope. growing up i was taught that all good things we do are not done by us, yet it is God through us. like in some way we are just the hands and the feet of the Divine. i'm not sure if thats true...but today as good things are all around me. or as i was a listening ear to someones tears and pain. i didn't think it was me: offering the services or the hope or the minute of solitude. when i hear compliments i never think 'oh good job me'. it is so much more. SO much more then me. i think all these good things: small and large happen because we are all fighting for. praying for. and hoping toward LOVE. the universe is working through all of us collectively to create a positive change in the world.

i'll end with this. someone told me today that they keep trying to get life to go their way: to get a job and work to earn a living for their family. but no matter how hard they try doors keep closing all around them. she looked at me like she wanted some words of wisdom all i could come up with was, "i'm sorry sometimes in life you just get screamed". truth. it happens. she laughed, and said thanks. honesty can help-and most times its really funny too. Yet saying this, i'm going to fight hard the rest of my life to open up all the doors and the windows i can. i'm sooo thankful. least i can do is open a few doors.