oh no. oh man. oh giraffes. i am not an actor. not even close. the only time i acted was in high school. even then the only real speaking role i had i was supposed to have an english accent. i ended up having an irish (it was very 'catch me lucky charms'). anyway...recently i have started to feel like i'm acting. someone cries in my office. i start to ask myself "what would a social worker say". i friend comes to me with a problem and in my mind i'm thinking "how would a friend react to this". ah! i do not like the feeling of playing a part. but i feel so unqualified for what i'm doing in my life. work. relationships. all of it that at times i feel the need to 'fake it'. its starting to make me nervous. like soon enough everyone is going to see me for who i really am: just a girl trying to fake it tell i make it. and i don't see me ever really "making it". i see more confusion, stumbling, and growing in my future then i see self-assurandance and stability. GOOSE BUMPS! who knows??? maybe i will get life right. maybe there will be a time when i know what i am talking about. maybe i'll stop making up words when i don't know the real word i'm looking for. or a time when i dont lose my keys and my cell phone. oh man, i hate when that happens. i dont know. i could say maybe all day long. maybe this and maybe that. huh. well. MAYBE i shouldn't focus on what i don't know or my mistakes....but rather the forgiveness that i'm willing to give myself while i'm faking it. if i lose my keys, or make up words, or spell things wrong, or forget about a meeting....or if someone else is late or forgets or cancels or pulls an irish accent on stage when its supposed to be english. you bet your bottom dollar i'm going to give you forgiveness. and grace. and love. i might laugh...but only with you. thats how its supposed to be. lets be honest: we both know we are trying our best. and if someone catches one of us faking it...know that i'll have your back. because i love you and selfishly because i need the same. oh giraffes! we got this. we totally got this.